Let's Get Real: A Life Update Blog Post

Gooooood morning @missjessparker family! I’m currently reporting to you LIVE from a coffee shop here in Los Angeles as I write out my little post for you all! I know that there is a lot of new pop culture content coming out today (the new Fantastic Four trailer dropped this morning, a new Wicked trailer is expected to release), but we all know how I feel about trailers—after the first teaser, it is NOT for me (though, I will be watching the Wicked trailer today 👀 I count that as a teaser). So unfortunately, I can’t give much of my opinion on that because I am avoiding spoilers at all costs—though, I already saw a handful for Fantastic Four (☹️). But then, I guess, that leaves the big question—what is today’s blog post about?


Honestly? I have no real topic I want to write on today. I think I just kind of want to chat real thoughts with you all on this one. A little life update, a little talk about mental health, and all of the above. We are living in a really dark time in the world right now, and I don’t know about you guys, but it has really been getting to me lately. Heck, usually I spend my time writing these blog posts in my little Tangled corner of my room and enjoy my quiet time in my own space. But I was quite literally so stuck in my own head today that I HAD to get out of the house. And so here I am, with the whirring sounds of an espresso machine, a caramel iced latte to my right, and an escapism from my thoughts as I kind of journal my brain out to you all on this lovely Wednesday morning.


Thunderbolts* has really got me diving deep lately into my thoughts on my own void. I want to start being more transparent with you all about my life behind the screen, behind my skits and the content you see on my page. Life online can be so curated sometimes, and I like that I have created a little blog space to be able to be more open with you all. My depression and anxiety have been kicking my ass lately, and sometimes it can be really hard to get out of that space. Like, I know what I need to do to make myself feel better, but it can be so hard to implement that. But we’re taking it day by day, one little bit at a time. The fact that I even went to work somewhere other than my room today is a HUGE win on my part, I think.


So why am I telling you all this? Because I hope that somewhere, someone out there can read this and know they aren’t alone. That you can know that feeling anxious and depressed isn’t a thing to be ashamed of. It can be so hard to go through that stuff by yourself. I’m someone who really struggles to ask for help, and that’s something I’m slowly getting better at. But for a long period of my life, I would just push everything away and tell everyone I was fine. And I honestly think that how I’m feeling currently is my body and mind’s way of trying to release all my past pushed down emotions as I work through things that happened to me in the past and work on bettering myself now.


I’m about to get a little woo-woo on you guys for a second, but I’ve really been leaning into the concepts of receiving signs from the universe, and I had such a huge *gasp* moment yesterday morning that I cannot help but share with you all. Admittedly, my mornings recently have started with a ton of anxiety and a lot of sad energy. I usually can get back to feeling semi-normal after starting my routine and doing my little morning wellness activities, like yoga or journaling, but I’m still trying to figure out why this is happening. I hate nothing more than immediately starting my day with a jolt of anxiety and bad adrenaline rushing through my body. But unfortunately, that was the way my morning yesterday started out.


I’ve been really trying to combat these feelings recently with grounding myself in some activities that I know bring me joy. I realized this past week how I’ve been slacking on connecting with all of you, my community, and I have been really trying to implement that back into my content creation, because that is one of the things I love most about it! Answering DMs and comments, going live more often, etc. So yesterday I decided I wanted to go live after starting my day. But before that, I had to work on feeling a little better. So I dragged myself over to the kitchen, made myself a little avocado toast to eat, and opened TikTok for a little morning scroll.


Guys. When I tell you the universe is SCREAMING at me that big changes are coming, I am not kidding. I got 5-8 videos in a row on my TikTok For You Page right when I opened the app, with no hashtags, with tarot readings, motivational talks, and positive energy telling me that June is going to be my month, that good things are coming my way, and that I am at a pivotal shift (another reason why I may be feeling so wonky lately—a lot of times right before a big change, your energy can get a little low like mine has been!). I could not believe how many of these I got in a row. Usually I get 1 or 2 here and there, but the universe REALLY wanted me to hear this message apparently. And then I went live on Instagram, and as I was putting my makeup on, getting ready, I looked out my window and saw a yellow butterfly fly by. I’ve been seeing butterflies a lot lately, but most of them have been monarchs (which is also a sign of change) but the fact that this one was SO distinctly yellow (a sign of positivity, hope and transformation) had me stopping in my tracks. Universe, I hear you. This rough patch will be ending soon. I just have to claim it ✨


Mindset shift has been a big thing I’ve been working on, and little things like this have been helping me through it a lot. I don’t know about you guys, but I subconsciously have a lot of negative self talk that I’m trying to work through. It can be so hard sometimes, trying to rewire your brain. I feel like I didn’t realize how often I subconsciously say such mean things to myself until I started taking time to recognize it. It happens way more than I think.


Anyway, my little woo-woo universe rant aside, I hope you all know that you aren’t alone if you’re going through some tough mental health times. It’s more universally felt than most people let on, and everyone you know is probably fighting at least one inner demon, one inner void. Whatever it is you may be going through, I am sending you love and light and positivity that things may get better soon. May this be your sign that June will be your big month of change, too 💕 If you’ve read this far, thank you for taking time out of your day to read my little blogs. It’s been really nice to connect back with this part of content lately, and I hope you all have been enjoying my little journaly check ins and thoughts on current media :)


More to come. I love you guys!


-Jess